Why I like a chilled out wedding?

The title says above.

So last weekend I went to a wedding at a couple’s home one hour from where I live. ¬†Two of them were in my friendship group and have been together for four years.

Chilled out wedding means that I sit down and catch up with people that I know from the past and also hangout with my current friends. Wedidngs I’ve been have been at churches or venues. The last wedding was at Darling harbour in May and that was nice :).

Anways it all started off with a vintage drink van below:


Then it proceeded to the ceremony at the back yard and then it was a food marahon from the lolly jar, cheese plates to burger and quiona salad:


Mind you the weather was perfect!! Sydney has been pouing buckets this month and I am ready for sunshine!

Yeah, that pretty much sums up the da. A few days later, I get an invitw to another wedding which wont happen until the end of this year.



She is back.

She is back in action with her public health class. The class is social perspectives in public health and this subject so far is quite good. Her first day also involed a community transect walk around a local town in no so great weather conditions from observing traffic, people, noise levels to shops and street commerce, even houses. From a public health perspective, it’s to get a feel of the town and how the urban environment affects one’s health. Useful for those policy-makers to suggest rules and regulations into the town to become a better living area.

There were a lot of fresh faces as the majority of people were starting out as well :).

Friday night was a friend’s birthday at the winery. Drinks and food to share around and good catch-ups.

Tommorow is a wedding so today is catch up readings and a few housework duties.

That is all ūüôā


Why did I choose to study Public Health?

Hello dear readers,

As you already know from my previous posts that I am currently studying public health and currently working in health adminsitration (records to be specific). ¬†I thought I’ll share my story on why I choose this and not a course related to my job?

Basically I graduated with a bachelor of Science in Safety, Health and Environment. After sitting in uni for sometime and graduating 5 years ago, I knew I needed to find full-time work. Months before my grduation ceremony in November 2011, my mum mentioned working in hospital and took it as an opportunity to try. During my studies, I did a range of volunteer work at univeristy and took on student casual jobs mostly in student adminsitration, even a stint in christmas retail the first year of univeristy ended. These were mainly to bump my experience so I didn’t want to be a graduate without experience (yes this happens). From these experiences, I enjoyed being able to make a difference to students and acquire general clerical experience. I did a stint at a pharmacy a few months after but the experience and environment was isolating, overwhelming and depressing, nor did I want to work for elderly pharmacy store owners and so I quit and it wasn’t for me.

I started looking for health jobs and applied for a local but wasnt successful that time. That was December 2011 and then I went on holiday and held off job hunting until I got back. January 2012, ¬†I applied for a records position but at a hosptial on the North Side, interviewed twice but ended up with a temporary position and May was when I started full time. Mostly behind the scenes work and a year later and my contract was extended. However, I wasn’t being fullfilled as it became repetitive and that time I started looking for permanent jobs and I was successful in securing one closer to home in a newly created department to where I am now, same field.

August 2015 hit and I decided to go back into study as I needed change from the indutry I am currently in. At that stage, I was getting exposure to outside the department and I still remember being a secretary for the steering committee for a project. Management changed and unfortunately I haven’t had an opportuniy to outside thie department last year. I also paid all my debt from my previous study. One of my aspirations was health policy but now am considering enviromental health, communciable disease or research / project roles. At that stage, I decided to attend the post-graduate nights in Septmeber and then the univeristy i’m currently at was introducing my current degree to commence in 2016 and went ot that to. I applied online and then November 2015. I was offered my current degree and am about to resume second year very soon.

I’ve also mentioned in one of my previous posts that I am no longer inspired and fullfilled on where I am working. Intellect is also what I am looking in my future job. Yes I have colleagues that are doing coding courses / health administration courses but honestly, I am not interested nor is it my passion in that area. For the time being, I’ll just take on roles that suit me until I can get roles in my desired areas. ¬†I really need to get out of this bubble that I in.

I would rather work with research / projects / rather than being chained to a clerical dead end job with uninspiring colleagues way off my league, brain turned into mush and feeling dead inside. A year ago I was working on my skills but after last minute changes in roles not being filled approrpriately in the final quarter of last year and seeing it all, ¬†I’m done. Yes for reselience but you reach a a point and need to get out. Another rant done.

I find that public health does serve a purpose in life in preventing, promoting and prolonging life.

At times I do worry whether I will get a foot in the door in public health. Where I work isn’t helping me achieve this so time to seek another avenue. I’m not on campus frequently either. Maybe I want to switch to health policy degree or switch to something else or transfer. I’m at a loss here… The jobs I see and interested in require a completed masters, experience ¬†and skils in course that I haven’t even done yet :(. ¬†A lot of these roles are temporary and I know I am a long way to where I want to be.

On the upside, 2 Distinctions so far :).

There’s my story and I hope you enjoyed reading it or if you are feeling the same then I empathise with you.

Blogging here makes me feel better.

Until next time.

x L

Personal experience with Aspergers.

Hello again,

As you may have seen that I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome as a child. So I decided to shed my light on this topic.

The definition of Asperger’s is ‘high functioning’ on the Austim spectrum disorder spectrum and have difficulty with social, emotional and communcation skills. They view the world differently and have particular interests. High functioning means it’s less severe than compared to people on the Autism spectrum disorder.

When I was younger it was hard growing up. Getting upset over little things but most likely being sensitive, being socially awkard (having little friends), found it hard to adapt to change from primary to high school. I was put in a special class for the first 2 years of primary school. Being diagnosed early and with appropriate therapy did help me become ok, with a few slip ups here and there. The high school years consisted of school, tutoring, minimal social life. Honestly, I feel like I didnt need those resources as I felt I was spoonfed rather than using my own brain. Also I didn’t like my body image as I struggled with weight.

I happened to be a ‘walking dictionary’ when I was younger. Aspergians tend to be wired differnetly and see thing differently.

The high school from university in contrast was a better tranisition as I really dislked the school I was in. I didn’t feel upset or anything like that. This may be different from notmal Aspergerians who can sometimes struggle with univeristy. ¬†Subject wise in university, I ended up dropping out of arts as I really wanted to finish my degree. Plus the coursework wasn;t easy as the language progressed. Same with science subjects where I only lasted 1 year in a pharmacoloiy/physiology and decided it wasn’t for me. ¬†That’s where I switched to a dafety major in which the content was easier to absorb from a commerce subject to a statistics which was ok to me.¬†I’m definetly no math person either and found words / writing suited me better.

Aspergians struggle with the social side of things, can become easily overwhelmed. I didn’t really get into the whole student parties, clubs etc. When I was invited, I declined. ¬†I did however undertake casual jobs and volunteer work throughout my degree. Sure sex was a common thing but I just didn’t get it nor did it cross my mind. Looking back I didn’t really care, aside from the one encounter (see first timers story).

Yeah sure I had a few crush rejections but honestly, we go through that. There have been one’s that show interest but I have no attraction to.

If I desire something, I find it hard to communicate hence I prefer the males to ask me if they are interested. I couldn’t do all the talking as it sometimes drains me brain cells (if you are an Aspie, then you’ll understand).¬†¬†I too can become overwhelmed on whether they are looking for the same thing or not. If I go through a dry spell¬†then let it be. If there was an opporunity then I’d take it but likewise, not going to overthink it.

Now that I’m older, if i do get invited or if there is a social event, I don’t mind going although I’d rather be dancing the night away ¬†(if there was one) then sitting around and chatting.

I keep things short and sweet and if i need to explain, then I am happy to explain just as long as we are both on the same page.

Making out and excessive cuddling doesn’t do it for me as gives me a sense of being suffocated. I dont mind being ‘touched’ elsewhere though.

Work wise, in relation to my last post, Aspergians can loose focus and that’s what I feel with my past two full time jobs. Sure there are ways to say X and yes these are techniques but do i really have to be a robot? ¬†It doesn’t fullfill me if you have read the last post.

So there is my experience with ¬†Aspergers Syndrome and for those who have goals from personal to learning, I’d say go for it!

Till next time

x L

How I feel right now, career wise.

Here’s another thought post (if you do find them interesting) on a different note:

The job that I do is mentally unstimulating, unfullfilling and dull. At the end of each day I come out feeling blah or drained. I’ve been in the field for nearly 5 years and I feel that I haven’t gone far. I feel like on repeat day in day out when I answer calls and do behind the scenes work. Meeting mintues, setting agendas like providing support is what I am capable of doing. Project work or research is what I’d like to get exposure on. ¬†I’ll only take on positions if suited until I can finish my degree and shift my focus towards public health, unless I find something that is more suited to my career goals. I cant predict the future.

In a place where most have kids, all female (apart from one male but taken), ¬†I would rather tune out to what they say. Also it’s different when your career goals are compeltely different and that I am seeking change. If there was a public health unit or anyone in that field that would like to take me, I put my hand up to get experience!

Where I am work wise, I don’t feel that I am making a difference if that makes sense? I’ve decided to undertake a public health degree to change career paths, ¬†make things better, meaningful and improve the quality of health and life.

Image result for public health
Public health, even the major I studied at my previous univeristy covers occupational health and safety.
Image result for public health
Prevent. Promote. Protect

Will I be able to get experience in those fields?? With colleagues who aren’t on the same focus doesnt make me feel inspired to work there.

Anwyays enough of me ranting :(.

Anyways, over and out.

The end of my longer-break from work.

Yes, as the title says, I am nearing the end of my work break :(. I didn’t take much leave in January this year. Now I only have 2-3 days left but am going to use that for the 2 days that I have at classes this month and my first class is in two weeks.

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Overall what did I do? Aside from the weather being rather shitty and yes some days did drag on and yes it wa snice to sleep in. Th elongest was 3 weeks but that was in transition between my old job and my current.  I did watch Fifty Shdaes Darker, pokemon go hunting in the city (yes I am back on it!), walks, massage and cupping (separate days), caught up with people, visited my uni to check out a few events and appointments.

I tried out an ‘on demand’ app [Pure} this week. It’s a hit amd miss for me as the ones I saw weren’t attractive, far away (why send me a request if you’re so far away). You’ll see same faces pop up time to time again but I’ll ¬†move on thanks. ¬†There’s an upside though so you’re not bombared by heaps of creeps.

It’s only been 5 days so far that I used it. 2 out of the 5 requests i found good looking but far from where I live :(. ¬†Plus it eats my data and having to post every hour = bye data. Once I go back to work, I’ll probs take a break from it and maybe see how much I get billed then decide to unsubscribe.

I stand in the middle. 2.5-3 out of 5. ¬†It depends on the day and time on when you use it. Also it depends where you live as well. The thing I question: nearby but still shows users far away from the suburb? Most likely¬†there’s not much users around my area and/or I’m not game yet to do it but I’ll keep in on my phone. Having one hour limit = less users.

Post break blues but then I remind myself that I have class 2 days this month and then its easter. ¬†A few positions popped up during this time. 5 months ago I had an interview however on the waiting list. There havent been suited jobs during that period which is why I have been out of the application process. I want to get out from where I am and it will come. I remember struggling for a year and two months (temporarily employed) to get my current job and it’s hard but likewise, keep on searching.

Life is life. Recharged is what describes me but once work hits it’s dull mode again. Kind of over where I am now.

This was a good break and I needed it after some rather long weeks at work.

Anyways, over and out.

x L

Gloomy weather, please go away

I hate you rain. You’ve made me gloomy, dull and dampened my mood :(. ¬†I couldn’t fully enjoy myself on the first week off (I have one more week to go) aside from catching up with my friend, casual meetup and ¬†doing a run in between rains. Also, univeristy will be back soon and I saw a few orientation week days. ¬†Oh, and I’m hopping back on the pokemon go. I’m hoping the second week off will birng better weather.

First timers experience.

Today’s post will be on a topic that is of a different nature and it’s mentioned in the title. This is the first time mentioning about a post of this nature so if you’re not comfortable with this content, please don’t read.¬†Be warned, content heavy.

Basically the reason why I chose to loose it later ¬†in life (I’m 28) was because I hadn’t found someone suitable and had no desire to loose it up until that point. 10 years ago where I first started university and a group of girls that I did maths with asked me about my experiences and ¬†completely tuned out. Haha. I also envied those who found boyfriends during campus and didn’t feel comfortable with myself and watched life go by.

Growing up with Aspergers made it hard to tell if a guy liked me or not. I wasn’t into the student parties or clubs and preferred doing my own thing (and being asexual). Later on in my first university years, I encountered someone that I knew in high school and then started casually seeing each other. He then mentioned sex and mentally, I wasn’t ready but just went along with it. Then it was in the male bathroom, freaked out when about perform oral for the first time and then months later he dumped. Then from that point on, I just didn’t really bother with putitng myself out there (aside from my male friends) for a long time why I haven’t been with many guys.

I tell my younger self: Look I know how gutted you feel if someone doesn’t like you back. Goes back to #teenagermode and feels low. Anyways, that passes.

I’ve also had times where one was interested but didn’t reciporate because I didn’t find them attractive or unsure and I’m glad I did.¬†¬†Just because I have male friends doesn’t mean it can go further. I’ve seen it because I went on an awkward date with one of my close friends not long after he dumped me and we decided that it’s better to be buddies.

Then flash forward to work. Someone from my previous workplace as he ¬†appeared to be interested in me. I wasn’t in a good mindset to start something like that plus we lived suburbs away and a year later I left that place to be at my current place. Flash forward, there was someone who I was attracted to at the beginning but he was seeing someone that time. It didn’t bother me and so let it slide. A year passed, we chatted time to time until he mentioned he moved into his own place. When the opportunity came, he was interested in me. That’s when he mentioned he wanted something casual and I wanted the same. After that I mentioned to him that I hadn’t been with many guys and haven’t experienced sex after asking me. First timers have that stigma of being emotionally attached but I made it clear that I wanted pleasure and fun.

I was a little nervous only because I haven’t had much exposure besides touching and fingering. Plus I hadn’t shaved down there and a little nervous on seeing a dick in a long time. Performing oral was a nerve racking as I’d never sucked on a dick and was afriad of choking. Then once it was erect with his guidance, then proceeded to put on a condom and then I got on top of him and slowly went to the top, guided in with a thrust and popped the cherry. It did hurt and bled a bit so out came the lube to make it slide and then we went into missionary for a bit until I was done, mostly due to the feeling of it after being popped. I really enjoyed it and wanted to experience it more. Out arrangment continued until he found a new position, moved out of his place and in with a room-mate and from that point, I didn’t think it would continue after that until this year. We only met so far again twice this year and not sure if we meet again as he may move away when the time comes and have his job transfered down there.

I did meet someone else in between that period but it didn’t go all the way due to our schedules but didn’t feel the need to mention to him when he asked that recently. Other than that, no other guy has approached me since and really didn’t have desire to do so.

There are times where I have sexual desires but don’t really know where to turn to in between those empty periods. I don’t really head out to the nightlife as much. Tinder doesn’t appeal to due linking of facebook accounts.

Where do I stand? I am open to future experiences (not settling down anytime soon though) and taking it as it comes. Slowly. I’ve been encouraged to seek out opportunities¬†and we both enjoyed pleasuring each other in a casual setting and know it’s not going any further. Until he moves, he’s welcome to message me Just make sure you know what you are comfortable with and with safety, consent from both parties and being responsible, it should be enjoyable and pleasurable. Plus I still live at home which is why it can be tricky.

There, I’ve said it. There’s my story of a first timer and I shall see you in my next post!


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